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Ah, fuck.

So, I went to the dietitian today. I need more meat, more grains and lots more energy. Eating a bunch of yoghurt is fine, but she wants me to make it full fat. She also wants me to eat cheese and mayonnaise. What I can do about the fact that food makes me feel heavy and sick, she didn't tell me. But I'll do as she says, anyway.

Then I went to the oncologist, who was very concerned about my weight loss and lack of appetite. I must say, my visit was not altogether uplifting. He had a look at the lump on my arm and pronounced it NOT a knot in the muscle. He said he didn't know if it was cancerous or what. It feels like a cyst, evidently. Given that my previous tumour was incorrectly diagnosed as a cyst, this is not as encouraging as he may have meant it to be. So, I've been downgraded for the first time since this whole cancer business started. I've gone from "Don't have cancer" to "PROBABLY don't have cancer". My blood tests all came up fine, so that's very good news. Nothing appears to be wrong with my liver.

A bit depressing, but it could be worse.

I was kept ages in the waiting room, but I don't mind. The guy before me was really sick. You could see he was dying. He had two people with him and he needed both of them to help him walk. The Onco remarked that they should have called earlier and then they went into the office. When they came out, the receptionist immediately directed them to the hospital and got on the phone for them. I got the feeling he wasn't coming out again.

So, under the circumstances, a lump that probably isn't dangerous is a pretty good thing, I guess.

ETA: Someone anonymously sent me a GOLD STAR!!! You can see it on my bio page. Whoever it was, THANKYOU!!! You deserve a gold star, too.


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August 2011