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Fun With Americanisms

On the bus, there were a lot of school kids. And one of them had a copy of Cosmopolitan.

Let's not talk about why a girl, all of twelve, had a magazine famous for its sex-tips. That's a different rant.

What cracked me up was that this "Denim Issue" proudly proclaimed its article on:

"Jeans to make your ass look awesome."

That's right, ladies! With the right pair of hipsters, the donkey (or even mule) in your life can be truly inspiring of awe and admiration!

The word has a LONG A!!! A LONG A... Everyone, open your mouth wide, and say "Aaaah".

How the hell does that become A-S-S? I'm cool with Americans spelling it that way, because they pronounce it that way. Whatever they want, it's fine.

But if it's got a long A, bloody well spell it that way! A-R-S-E!

You hear me?

*whaps the editors of Cosmo*

Comments

flippyfrog
Aug. 14th, 2006 09:13 am (UTC)
yes, but i say it, and see it, without the 'r'. The A-R makes it sound like you're a pirate when you're saying it, and when you spell it A-R your mind sounds it out that way.

I like Ass, yes, as in the donkey, because it's sharp and snappy. Arse makes you sound it and extend the "AR" sound, which is usually not what i'm after, as when you're saying "Sit your ass back down" you want it to be snappy and not sound like you're speaking Proper English because, damnit, Ass originated as an American Slang word, it was not British, so therefore, ASS

:P
the_kaytinator
Aug. 14th, 2006 09:17 am (UTC)
Then by all means continue. Just don't pronounce it with the long A and spell it with the short. If you're consistent, I'm happy.
flippyfrog
Aug. 14th, 2006 11:56 am (UTC)
nope, i shall forever remain inconsistant. It just depends how i hear the word in my head at the time.

I like my little inconsistencies :P
flippyfrog
Aug. 14th, 2006 11:56 am (UTC)
mainly because when you have so many of them, you really have no choice :P

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