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Fun With Americanisms

On the bus, there were a lot of school kids. And one of them had a copy of Cosmopolitan.

Let's not talk about why a girl, all of twelve, had a magazine famous for its sex-tips. That's a different rant.

What cracked me up was that this "Denim Issue" proudly proclaimed its article on:

"Jeans to make your ass look awesome."

That's right, ladies! With the right pair of hipsters, the donkey (or even mule) in your life can be truly inspiring of awe and admiration!

The word has a LONG A!!! A LONG A... Everyone, open your mouth wide, and say "Aaaah".

How the hell does that become A-S-S? I'm cool with Americans spelling it that way, because they pronounce it that way. Whatever they want, it's fine.

But if it's got a long A, bloody well spell it that way! A-R-S-E!

You hear me?

*whaps the editors of Cosmo*


( 14 comments! — Make Remark! )
Aug. 14th, 2006 08:35 am (UTC)
*whaps them some more* We're not even in America, use the proper conventions! And no sneaky trying to change the proper conventions to the American ones!
Aug. 14th, 2006 09:00 am (UTC)
I know - it sounds wrong to me! And looks wrong, too.
Aug. 14th, 2006 09:06 am (UTC)
Have to admit, i have no problem with the way it's spelt. I use both. i mean, Kickass looks much better than kickarse. And arse can sometimes sound waaay too pretentious sometimes.

And ass is an accepted slang so neh, i'll keep using it :P
Aug. 14th, 2006 09:06 am (UTC)
personally i'd rather rant about the 12 YEAR OLD WITH A COSMO WTF??????
Aug. 14th, 2006 09:08 am (UTC)
I'm happy to rant about that too. And by all means PRONOUNCE it "ass". But don't go spelling long As as though they are short As. Or I shall 2X4 YOUR ARSE!!!

(and not your ass)
Aug. 14th, 2006 09:13 am (UTC)
yes, but i say it, and see it, without the 'r'. The A-R makes it sound like you're a pirate when you're saying it, and when you spell it A-R your mind sounds it out that way.

I like Ass, yes, as in the donkey, because it's sharp and snappy. Arse makes you sound it and extend the "AR" sound, which is usually not what i'm after, as when you're saying "Sit your ass back down" you want it to be snappy and not sound like you're speaking Proper English because, damnit, Ass originated as an American Slang word, it was not British, so therefore, ASS

Aug. 14th, 2006 09:17 am (UTC)
Then by all means continue. Just don't pronounce it with the long A and spell it with the short. If you're consistent, I'm happy.
Aug. 14th, 2006 11:56 am (UTC)
nope, i shall forever remain inconsistant. It just depends how i hear the word in my head at the time.

I like my little inconsistencies :P
Aug. 14th, 2006 11:56 am (UTC)
mainly because when you have so many of them, you really have no choice :P
Aug. 14th, 2006 10:37 am (UTC)
I say kickarse, or rather spell it as such

~ but I am a lif on the wind
Aug. 14th, 2006 09:30 am (UTC)
12 year olds with a Cosmo *is* concerning. I think my friends and I used to sometimes read Dolly and Girlfriend at that age (although Mum would have had a fit if she knew), but certainly not Cosmo.

I reckon they just used the 'ass' expression because it looks better than arse - arse is more ocker and thus doesn't look so good in Cosmo. And the whole 'use of Americanisms because they're more cool' thing anyway.

Aug. 14th, 2006 09:35 am (UTC)
I'm much more concerned with the pre-teen actually reading Cosmo, but Kayt, you should email them and point out their typo :P

Occassionally using 'ass' is more appropriate, but a girls booty should not be described as a donkey damnit!!! Especially when it comes to enhancing it. Then again, it was Cosmo.....
Aug. 14th, 2006 10:09 am (UTC)
Oh Kayt! I am forever shouting at people when they spell it as Ass instead of Arse. Sorry guys, but an ass is a donkey and an arse is a bottom. End of story.

And yes... wtf is she doing with Cosmo!? We read Dolly and Girlfriend at those ages and didn't move to Cosmo till 17 or 18 I think, but 12? *sigh*
Aug. 21st, 2006 01:11 am (UTC)
You know what's worse?

Cosmo's on the ANU library list - you can access it for free through the PubMed database, or whatever it's called.

That's what your HECS fees are paying for - University-sponsored Cosmopolitan to all!
( 14 comments! — Make Remark! )

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