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It's 9:59am, on a fairly pleasant Thursday morning. I am sitting at a computer in the library, one of the nice sheltered ones beside the window. I've got my belongings neatly packed in my bags, with the exception of Beryl, my mobile phone: She is on the desk so I can hear her if she rings. Beside me sits the world's worst six hundred word paper, ready to be handed in at 11:00. Frankly, I do not care how bad it is. I have not done the readings for the tutorial I have in an hour, and to be perfectly honest, I'm not going to. I may give them a brief skim right before class, but as someone will be doing a presentation on the topic, I'd rather just learn from them. I have only one class today, and overall I have optimism that today will be rather a good day. Once I've handed this paper in, that leaves me with one essay: due, if memory serves, on October 22nd. I may substitute one of my exams with an essay, though. Even so. No stress right now. It's looking good.

I've been having interesting chats with vague acquaintances lately. Yesterday, while buying some frozen yoghurt for the sugar hit, I ran into someone I knew only very vaguely in college. She was buying yoghurt of the non-frozen variety, so we ended up spontaneously sitting down and having a chat about this and that, and uni and stress and mutual friends. Very nice it was too. I do like just talking to people.

On Tuesday, my hour long busride was interrupted by an encounter with a friend of a friend. I've mostly met him at parties, though I see him around the uni a lot and always say hello. A very nice guy. Don't know him well, but he's just really nice: he's friendly, polite, good-mannered. You don't see people that often who just come across as very nice people. Anyway, we had a good ol' yak about stuff, too. Again, I do like just sitting and talking to people and learning interesting things about them.

Yesterday, I also had my "Staff Assesment" for work. I have one or two things I need to work on, but other than that I scored well on all criteria. Was very embarrasing sitting there listening to the Boss and the other Boss telling me I'm good at this and excellent at that. I'm glad they found something I need to improve on, to be honest. Compliments often make me feel very uncomfortable, especially in person, when I have to sit there and I know they're looking at me, and I don't have the time to formulate a response. I never know what to say. Do I say thankyou? Am I supposed to compliment someone back? Does it vary from case to case? I just don't know what to do, and the whole experience is quite discomfiting. Still: At least I know I'm good at my job. That's nice.

Despite (or possibly because of) all the essays and such, I've been on quite a roll with life_or_freedom lately. Although, I fear my addiction to it is growing worse. All the same, I could have taken up smoking, so a LorF addiction isn't as bad as all that, is it?
I have no idea how long Kate's story is going to go on. I was heading towards the end, but now there's a whole bunch of stuff that hasn't been done! I can't go on forever. I figure I'll just stop when there's no more to be said. Maybe slightly beforehand. That's usually the best place for an ending. Still: over 200 pages have been written. Not sure how much that is in words, but this is certainly a record for me. By a long shot.

I was prompted to read over some old writing of mine, the other day. I was talking to flippyfrog about it yesterday, too. It's rather encouraging to read over the terribly dodgy writing of one's youth, because it reminds of how far you've come. I was reading it over, going: "Well, I may not be the best writer in the world, but I've sure as hell come a long way since I wrote this tripe." It's rather a nice feeling, that. And of course, it means that theoretically, I can expect to improve still further: I am not stuck in bad-writer limbo.

I can't wait until holidays proper begin. I guess that's not really going to start until I get back from New Zealand (less than 2 months to go. Gah!). Holidays are fantastic, because I just get to sit around writing stuff. I usually get onto my big projects as well, like maps and other artistic stuff. Speaking of which, I found two lovely, old fashioned, all natural notebooks in the orgasmic paper shop the other day.

(The orgasmic paper shop makes me drool. There is no shame in a stationary fetish.)

Anyway, I found these two lovely books, and reasonably priced too (a rarity in the orgasmic paper shop). I purchased them, and I intend to use them as the notebooks of Izzy Darkmoor, who, some of you may remember, is the dead angsty teenage poet from Questers. I was using books I manufactured myself, but they're a little unstable, so I'd much rather use these pretty things. I really ought to get around to writing some more Izzy Darkmoor poetry, but it's a tad tricky. It always makes me feel miserable too.

Oh! The curse of the method writer! Whenever people ask me why I write, I usually answer that writing makes me feel the wonderful and terrible things I never get to feel in reality. I only feel truly happy, or sad, or angry, or loving when I'm writing. It makes me feel more alive, which is just plain spiffy. Alas, when I'm writing something depressing, I have to feel the depression too. Same applies to grief, pain and all the other horrid things no one wants to feel (except maybe Sado-Masochists). Sometimes, as when I wrote the scene for LorF when Kate meets the evil Hellys, it can be downright disturbing. I had to write that one slowly, as I kept feeling sick. On the other hand, I actually used that sickness and inserted it into the scene, having Kate vomit while retelling the story. Method writing kicks arse in that way. Also, there's another LorF scene, but I'm not sure everyone is up to date on it, but I'll just say, writing it... very emotionally draining. But that's okay. Overall, I think being a method writer is a good way to work, and I think it's probably good for the writing too.

Well, I have rather rambled on, but you know how I am when I get talking.

All: Oh, yes. Yes we do!

Quiet you! Anyway, I'm done now. I have class in 26 minutes, and then I believe I will pick up a pesto-cheese scroll from the bakery, eat it on the way to the bus-stop and then go home and vegetate. I can even stay up super super late as I don't have to be anywhere tommorrow morning. Yay!

Oh, and incidentally, my essay on Family First earned me an 83, which is a high-distinction. Makes such a nice change from my usual mark of 76. I get 76s for absolutely everything. I do like this lecturer a lot, he marks well, he chooses the course readings carefully, going for a few short and highly stimulating readings, instead of masses and masses of dull text-book extracts. I believe I shall make a concious effort to do his courses next year, if possible. Another year of uni. Sigh.

And it may interest some of you to know that the Fraternal Unit has been lent the DVDs of Firefly. I saw the first two episodes last night. Is good. Very good. I look forward to seeing the rest of it.

Pip pip and all that, my delightful muffin-pops!

PS. As we head towards the end of the Uni Semester, I'd like to shout out my good lucks and keep on writing to everyone who is bogged down by hideous essays. Particular words of encouragement go to emerald85 (Hope you finished that hideous thing, Em) and bathmat (Keep striving for that baked potato!) Essay stress is a dreadful thing so good luck all!

PPS. Couldn't be bothered making a new entry. But go me!!!

Discworld: Which Ankh-Morpork City Watch Character are YOU?

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( 2 comments! — Make Remark! )
Oct. 6th, 2005 04:19 am (UTC)
Thankyou good Kate. And the same to you with your final two essays!
Oct. 7th, 2005 07:17 am (UTC)
Thanks! i did get the evil thing done!

And yay! for firefly! I got my mum to watch the pilot the other day. I'm glad you like it!
( 2 comments! — Make Remark! )

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