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Hopsical again!

I’ve been to the hopsical again. What with some flu thing, a sinus infection and sick all the damn time, certain organs just threw up their hands and called industrial action. Thursday night I ended up in the emergency department, sulking because my abdomen was trying to explode. Four hours later, I saw a doctor.

We won’t talk about it. We especially won’t talk about the rectal exam. That’s a very dull story. Nor will we talk about stool samples. We will talk about the ED doctor who took my history and did the initial tests. After the nurse had stolen litres of blood for her own nefarious purposes, he tells me he’ll talk to the “medical doctors” about what to do.

He’ll talk to the medical doctors? What’s he? A doctor of philosophy? This gives me serious concern RE: rectal exams. Dr. Gillian, an explanation please!

I’m still very funky from the pain-relief cocktail they pumped me with. Up to my eyeballs with morphine! Morphine’s effect on me, it turns out, is exactly like a manic episode. I wouldn’t shut up and everything was most interesting. It also turns out that morphine dries my skin out. I haven’t looked this bad since I was 16. All my carefully cultivated, product-lathered skin GONE! It’s reverted to the blotchy red eczema hell that I used to get picked on for. I know I have bad skin, but most of you have never seen the BEFORE pictures. Catch a glimpse of me sometime soon and you’ll get some idea.

And it itches like HELL! Especially where all the various bandaids and surgical tape were. My skin is all raw and upset there. My arms were all pincushiony, poor things.

I was fed via drip for some time, which is ultra cool, but I was mighty hungry by the time I got out. It being a gut-related issue, no food for me! I was quite delirious at one point from maximum drugs and an empty stomach. But, once the stomach and so forth emptied out entirely, the pain eased. Even without morphine it’s quite bearable now.

I’m nosy and when I’m in the ED, I always listen for tidbits about other patients. On my right, a young man who had crashed his car into a wall. They were constantly taking him here or there for x-rays. His spine was of some concern, I gathered. Favourite dialogue:
Nurse: So you crashed into a wall?
Guy: Yeah.
Nurse: Have you had any thing to drink tonight?
Guy: No.
Nurse: So, that vodka bottle they found in the wreck? That’s old?
Guy: Er… yeah, that’s been there ages.

On my left, a lad who’d been out with his friends for some birthday drinks, only to be beaten up and robbed. Though all the friends escaped unharmed, I understand. There was one friend with him, offering opinions on everything, though his opinions mostly consisted of “fucking this fucking that”. Favourite dialogue:
Nurse: And you say you lost consciousness?
Victim: Yeah.
Nurse: For how long?
Kayt’s Brain: How’s he supposed to know? He was unconscious at the time.
Victim: Um… don’t know.
Friend: Maybe fifteen minutes? Dunno. I didn’t notice.
Nurse: What time do you think it is?
Victim: Er… 1am?
Nurse: No, it’s 4:30. Did you go into the pub?
Victim: No.
Nurse: You weren’t in any pubs or clubs?
Victim: I walked past a pub.
Nurse: Have you had anything to drink tonight?
Victim: Oh! Two beers.
Friend: What about at home?
Victim: Oh yeah. I had another beer at home. And some spirits, and a couple cocktails.

Anyway, I is all better now, basically. My stomach still doesn’t feel great, and I’m not allowed spicy foods or dairy products until things settle down. Poor old tum-tum. :(



( 5 comments! — Make Remark! )
Aug. 2nd, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
Aug. 2nd, 2008 06:49 am (UTC)
There are many types of doctors. Surgeons. ED docs, and physicians (commonly called 'medics').

I suspect you were being seen by an ED doc, who wanted some advice from the medics ;).
Aug. 2nd, 2008 06:49 am (UTC)
Also feel better soon!
Aug. 2nd, 2008 08:26 am (UTC)
So terribly sorry to hear this!

I hope you're all better very soon!

Aug. 2nd, 2008 09:43 am (UTC)
*grugs* Glad you're feeling better!

But no dairy products! No chocolate! I would not survive :P
( 5 comments! — Make Remark! )

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