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A letter to Kayt, aged 15.

Dear Kayt, aged 15.
Some sage advice from seven years in the future.

Hi Kayt. You're probably wondering why I'm spelling your name that way, but it will seem perfectly normal in a year or two. As you know, you are finishing the tenth grade and will soon be moving on to year 11 and college. Now remember, college counts towards University. You may think it's a good idea to take all creative subjects, but think again.

First, the good news. You will be accepted into the college you applied for, which is awesome. Now, some advice about choosing subjects: do maths. Just do it at the easy accredited level and make sure you get a major. I know that sounds insane, but listen to your mother. Also, go easy on the drama. Not as cool as you think and it will eventually cause a nervous breakdown if you get too emotionally involved. I am going to be very firm and insist that you do biology. It'll be more interesting than you think. Don't make that face, young lady. Plenty of English is always good, so do as much as the school will let you. Don't do a language, you have no aptitude for it. Under no circumstances should you try music. I mean it. REALLY don't.

Now, as regards your life outside of school. Get a job. While it is true that if you keep volunteering where you are now, you will eventually get a job, trust me: IT'S NOT WORTH IT. Said job will eventually drive you insane. You are much better off scanning milk and eggs. Just get a job anywhere and work through your two years of college. You will also need to volunteer at a local nursing home. You'll enjoy it and it's important for my ultimate plan for your life. Say you are hoping to become a nurse. Which brings me to the next point.

You will want to be a nurse. I know you don't feel that way now, but the fact is, you are entirely without direction or motivation. Your grades are excellent and you're very smart, but what the hell are you doing with it? You don't know, do you? Work towards nursing. In two years, you can apply to do the Bachelors degree. I'm not going into specifics, but some stuff is going to happen in your life that is going to interest you in nursing. It's years away yet, but it will happen. If you don't make a start now, you will continue being a rudderless derelict in a doona for the next seven years.

And that's no fun. Seriously.

Social life: Don't be upset when your friends start drifting away. Most of them will eventually turn out to be complete bastards in any case. Stick with Sophie under every circumstance. You won't regret that. Your home group in college will include someone called Jenny. She likes Lord of the Rings. Make friends with her immediately; it will save you a lot of angst. Come to terms now with the fact that you are shy and strange. Everybody you meet will sense it, so just be yourself.

One URL: www.obernewtyn.net

Get your driver's license, ASAP. Having a car will change your life. Get your eyes tested regularly. You haven't noticed yet, but you are slowly going blind. You only look good in rectangular glasses.

At the end of year 12, apply for your nursing degree. Having followed my advice, you will already have the requisite subjects and work experience. Do NOT give in to the temptation to do easy sounding subjects and arse off with a Bachelor of Arts. Easy maybe, but BORING AS ALL HELL. You WILL go mad. Nursing, you hear me!

So, in five years time, you'll have a degree that qualifies you in a field with plenty of jobs, and you'll understand by then WHY it's exactly what you want to do. Don't listen to anyone who tells you it's not a good career choice. Stick to the plan. By the time you roll around to being me... well, you won't be me. You'll be someone else entirely. I like her better.

If left to your own devices, you will end up lying in bed until after one, feeling sick when you eat and seeing the inside of a psych ward. You will hate yourself, you will feel useless and pointless. No bed will ever be warm enough, no sleep will ever be enough for you and any time anyone talks about their career, their love-life, their kids, their mortgage, their investments, their holidays, their LIFE, you will regret every decision of the last seven years. And you'll try to blame it on external factors, but deep down, you'll know it's just you.

And two more things: Discourage your brother from teaching. He'll hate it. Push him towards being a librarian.

Anyone you may have a thing for right now is NOT WORTH IT. Seriously. He's a bad person. Don't go there.

So, in the end, I guess I'm saying that you're about to start growing up. Everyone around you is going to drive through their lives. Some are going to speed along the freeway. Some are going to have accidents and have to gun it to the smash repairs. Some are going to take a twisty, windy road.

Get with it. NOW. Or you will be asleep at the wheel, sister. And then you'll wake up as me and realise you've crashed.



( 9 comments! — Make Remark! )
May. 21st, 2008 01:46 pm (UTC)
I wish we could all somehow write a letter to our fifteen-year-old selves - the amount of trouble we'd save would be incalculable. It probably creates one of those space/time paradoxes that end up destroying the world, but that's a small price to pay.
May. 21st, 2008 03:50 pm (UTC)
To Kayt of the present,

Please always remember that those whose lives seem well put together really are not. And ones who couldn't find their feet back home, so went chasing it across the world and still have managed to stumble, fall over, and knock themselves out.

Fifteen year olds are idiots, and will always remain idiots. I have not seen proof otherwise. There is no one who doesn't regret some choices they've made, and heaps more who regret all of them.

It is never too late to find a career in life that you know is for you. Some people never chance upon this. This person still doesn't know and continues to be horribly jealous of those around her who know what it is that they wish to do for a large majority of their lives.

Life is a fucking difficult mess and you're not the only one who feels like they're screwing it up. Just remember that the majority of people are so focused on their own screw ups they rarely see yours.

And most of all do remember that there are people out here who really do love you, who will never think otherwise regardless of how you might see it, and who aren't related to you and thus not obliged to say such things.

Good thing about crashes is that you get to buy a shiny new car.

Best regards

May. 21st, 2008 11:21 pm (UTC)
"Good thing about crashes is that you get to buy a shiny new car." you know what is a little easier? get it stollen :P as then you get money to buy the new car with :P just try not to deal with teh police :S after you have made the report - it is very difficult :S hope the bed is here and work has gone well
May. 22nd, 2008 09:01 am (UTC)
I'm not nearly as eloquent as Flit, but I second what she said.

Also what Turks says.

We love you for who you are. You ARE awesome. And don't forget that there have been an awful lot of girls (me included) at Ober who have looked and do look up to you. You're an inspiration to a lot of people. Remember that whilst you're looking at other people.
May. 21st, 2008 11:20 pm (UTC)
what a good idea kayt :) i think i would love to write me a letter for every 5 or 10 yrs of my life. it would save so much heart ache. though in the end you wouldnt be who you are without ur past. that i am sure of.... and i still love you. i have a card that i will send... i made it so dont get to excited it looks like a 2yr olds job :P but i no the ober crew up here love you :) when i get my car i shall try and visit :)
May. 22nd, 2008 07:57 am (UTC)
Dear Kayt,

YOU are awesome.

Learn to love you.

It's a hard painful road, but regretting things you cannot change will not help.

YOU are amazing. Go out and find out how amazing you can be.

Love Gillian
May. 22nd, 2008 08:33 am (UTC)

I'm sorry things have been so hard lately.

I wrote myself a letter once, but it was the other way round, from my 14 year old self to my 24 year old self. Reading it ten years after writing it was funny but surprisingly painful.
May. 22nd, 2008 11:56 am (UTC)
*big hugs* I remember a quote I read once was "As we get older we become neither better nor worse - we only become more like ourselves." So you can't say that if you'd become a nurse at a younger age you'd be a 'better' person. You'd just be an alternate Kayt, who we probably wouldn't know half as well coz she'd have been too busy with work and study to be online...

I digress. You're a good person. You'll grow old as a good person. Doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't always change who you are.

Feel better soon!!
May. 29th, 2008 07:16 am (UTC)
Dear Kayt,

I would like to second Jenny and Gillian, and also say you are awesome. Actually i would like to agree with everyone else who has posted.

We love you for you, not for the Kayt you might of been.

While we travel along in our lives we make judgments and decisions on things . Doesnt make them right or wrong. Just is.

I know that i personally have made some poor choices, and if things had been different for me i would already have a degree, rather than at tafe with not much money and no license ( which if i had gotten at 16 id have had my full license for 8 yrs now) and still living at home.......

I dont know if it would make me a better person, or even more centred, and maybe decisions anyone of us had made in our pasts might effect now, make it better or worse.

All i know is, you can only trust your gut feelings at the time. All you can be is yourself, and use the knowledge you have the time to make decsions. Ive lost count of the times ive regretted choices ive made over the last 10 yrs....

I see a whole lot of people and regret my own decisions because so many people younger than me have degrees, cars, wonderful jobs, fiancees, children, houses etc....... And i dont. But im still working on the not regretting things... heh.

I know some of the people who have looked up to you or taken your advice etc on Ober - im one of them. Thanks for being you :)

Im not sure if i wrote a letter to my 15yr old self that i would be half as polite or eloquent as you are.

Kayt, you are a good person. Dont make moral judgments of choices youve made when you dont know what you do now. It makes you feel guilty for choices that seemed right a the time that you cannot change. We can only move forward as people. We might still regret, but atleast if we can learn from it, then thats a good thing :)

take care gal, its good to see you around again :) missed you.
( 9 comments! — Make Remark! )

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