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What a spy would see...

Today, rather than write my journal entry, I choose to write from the POV of any spy that happened to have me under survelliance today.

I'm not going mad, and suggesting I am being watched, but if I were, this is what the spy would have to report.

Sunday September 2nd

8.00am
Subject asleep.

9.00am
Subject still asleep.

9.34am
Subject moves an arm. Could this be the waking process?

10.00am
No. Subject still asleep.

11.00am
Subject awake. Still in bed, but apparently not inclined to rise.

11.15am
Mother of subject knocks on door, putting forward suggestion of getting out of bed. Subject replies this is the intention. Facial expression suggests otherwise.

11.20am
Subject rolls over a bit and checks blog and email on laptop. Is unable to access Obernewtyn.net. Expresses irritation.

11.25am
Subject sits upright and attempts to get out of bed. Stretches and immediately moves neck in anatomically impossible fashion. Lies back down in pain.

11.35am
Massages neck. Sits up and gets out of bed. Gets dressed and emerges into house.

11.37am
Makes cursory examination of newspaper.

11.40am
Puts head down and attempts to sleep on kitchen bench.

11.42am
Subject discouraged from sleeping in kitchen.

11.45am
Subject and family begin housework. Due to muscle pain in legs, subject engages in those tasks that do not require heavy physical labour- tidying shelves, dusting tables, redistributing belongings back to owners.

12.55pm
Subject performs non-taxing but highly important task of buying lunch. Takes orders from family: all request items of from take-away.

1.05pm
Subject arrives at shops down street. Attempts to park car, with what might be described as "hilarious consequences". Third time appears to be lucky.

1.15pm
After placing orders at take away, subject adjourns to supermarket. Purchases yoghurt and fresh fruit.

1.30pm
Take away order finally handed across counter. Subject returns to car.

1.35pm
Subject delivers food. Food distributed to family. Subject eats yoghurt and fruit for lunch. Subject apparently smug healthy-eating type.

1.40pm
Subject and family watch cartoon apparently set in future, over lunch. Cartoon features lobster and wise-cracking robot.

2.10pm
Family decide to go out. Subject retires to room to watch DVDs. First checks emails, blog again.

3.40pm
Subject still watching DVDs. Must have seen 5 or 6 episodes of this thing. Not bad, though. Nice to be observing a subject who watches TV. You miss all the good stuff on surveillance and I can never program the recorder.

4.30pm
Family return home. Subject rises and observes purchases. Then returns to couch to watch wise-cracking robot again. Subject appears to enjoy television.

5.30pm
Subject goes back to bed. Appears to fall asleep, but occasionally moves limbs.

6.45pm
Subject and brother prepare dinner, a smörgåsbord type arrangement. Subject seems confused and dizzy and is not as helpful as might be.

7.15pm
Family sit down in loungeroom and eat dinner. TV is viewed.

8.30pm
Subject waits for end to elbow cramp, before getting up and feeding hideous cat. Then feeds dogs and what is apparently some sort of midget rat thing.

9.00pm
Hideous cat given medicine. No fatalities.

9.01pm
Family watch further television.

10.45pm
Subject declares intention not to shower and retires to room.

11.29pm
Subject begins LJ entry. Is not in mood to write from own point of view, so invents fictional spy to write notes about her.

11.56pm
Completes entry in guise of spy.

Conclusions:
Subject needs to sleep. Subject complains a lot. Subject likes DVDs.

Comments

( 1 comment! — Make Remark! )
rigel_7
Sep. 2nd, 2007 03:57 pm (UTC)
Is unable to access Obernewtyn.net. Expresses irritation.

:P It's always like that for me!
( 1 comment! — Make Remark! )

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