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Cuttin' it fine!!!

What a perfect opening that would be for a post to discuss any hairdressing or even surgical ambitions I might have.

But I don't, so that's a good pun spoiled.

It's 11:30, and now I'm finally making my post for today. It's actually been 47 hours since my last post, since yesterday's was made at 12:03.

Of course, now I'm here I have nothing to say.

I'm so tired of being tired. I yawn all day, and all night. But I don't sleep, even though I'm on sleeping tablets. I've tried napping during the day, I've tried NOT. I've tried going to bed earlier and later. I've tried reading before bed, watching TV or just sleeping.

When it comes down to it, I'm just tired and that's where it ends.

I'm fatigued as well. My body usually gets used to moving about after a while, but my BRAIN. It's just so worn out it's not able to focus on anyone or anything. My dudes at work say "Did I perform that scene okay?" and I have to say "Honestly, sweetie, I didn't even watch."

Fortunately, how the actors perform falls under Trevar's problem and not mine! The General Manager was so concerned about my stress and fatigue levels that she made me sit down and figure out some ways we can reduce my workload (without reducing my hours or pay, mind!). I've rearranged, made it clear that there are some things that are simply not my problem. If you don't come to rehearsal, you don't come. I'm not calling you. I'm just handing over your shows to someone else. I'm not answering any questions about directorial issues, UNLESS I'm the only one available and it's an urgent question. I'm not not NOT spending my entire weekend and ten bucks worth of phone credit trying to reorganise a show because someone pulls out. DO IT YOURSELF! From now on, the gang will have to keep each other informed, and if someone pulls out, they can work together to find their own replacement and call me when the problem is solved.

And I'm teaching some of the gang how to do the narration and facilitation duties because I just don't have the energy to be ultra-perky with a bunch of 12-year-olds twice a day, or even ONCE.

I am going to be an admin type. Admin and ONLY admin.

We'll see if that calms me down and gives my brain a little more energy to focus on peripheral concerns.

And I stand by my new icon. It's pretty much how I feel every damn day.

Comments

( 3 comments! — Make Remark! )
mysticaingeal
Jun. 30th, 2007 12:54 am (UTC)
Maybe part of the tiredness is not sleeping well?? One of my friends has trouble sleeping. Maybe I could ask him for advice?

They (Which they??) say that exercise is meant to be good for boosting energy.
flippyfrog
Jun. 30th, 2007 10:47 am (UTC)
You know what, I've mentioned it before, but I just can't help myself bringing up that thing which will make you groan.

But you know what helped me? Forcing myself up at a specific time every single day, regardless of whether I slept that night or not, and going for a walk. Now, I usually napped when I got home, or later that afternoon when I first started, but after about a month, my brain seemed to be better programmed and I would automatically need to go to bed at around 11pm to get up at 7am. Since Dad had his heart attack, I stopped, and it's been about a month and I'm back to not sleeping, so I'm going to start again.

But I tell you, I thought it was something that was utter bullshit, this whole routine+exercise kills depression and insomnia, but I walked through a period I always crash in, and I had never slept so well since... well... before I started year 11.

Maybe you should give it a go. It doesn't have to be a fitness type walk, I think it's more the getting up and getting moving aspect that helps.
mysticaingeal
Jun. 30th, 2007 12:29 pm (UTC)
Well, when I first started exercising it sure didn't give me more energy!! It made me tired =P But it is much better now and I do actually feel more energetic so it has worked for me. I'm not sure about the depression and insomnia. Though I definitely feel a lot happier after exercising.
( 3 comments! — Make Remark! )

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